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Hmm... What's In A Mascot, Eh?

A whole lot, apparently...! Any entreprise (except Zellers at this point - apparently! They who dropped their Zeddy like yesterday's old sack of rotten potatoes...! But I am digressing already...) any business worth its salt usually KNOWS the value of a mascot; the instant contact it can trigger with its customer-base, initiating a friendly and immediate familiar rapport that could NEVER BE otherwise... almost! (Okay, it could be, but it would take a hell of a lot of time and, quite frankly, time is money that is not being made while it is spent doing that - are you following me here...?!? Yes - I was digressing - again! Let's just MOVE ON...!)

Yes indeed, most retail chains have their mascots and they have THEM - by the balls! One false move from the mascot and the whole chain COLLAPSES! For nothing is as bad, in terms of bad publicity, than a misbehaving mascot that represents your entire entreprise, believe you me! That is why only the utmost professionals, the most reliable individuals, artistically-inclined (hopefully) and good with the public will be ENTRUSTED the all-important role of... mascot! (Okay - it's either that or they put the suit on just about anybody and assign a watchdog to the guy, in case of any slip-ups...! One false move, and mascot-man is eliminated and promptly replaced - while an entirely convoluted "damage control process" is immediately initialized! I am digressing again, yup...)

When it comes to the wild world of professional sports, now there can be no doubt whatsoever: YOU GOTTA HAVE YOUR MASCOT! (I said "gotta have your mascot" - not "gotta getta Gund" OK? So... DON'T SUE, eh? Digressing - as always!)
There is no business like show-business, they always said (or outright sang!) - but professional sports is a hybrid industry that marries it with actual athletics and comes pretty darn close of being exactly like showbiz; except for the glaring fact that the arts have been replaced by sometimes brutal acrobatics of all kinds, which may or may not include the fine art of pugilism AND even some form of acting, which accentuates the similarity with showbiz evermoreso...! BUT I DIGRESS FOR THE UMPTEENTH TIME ALREADY!!! (No "LMAO" this time; be happy of that, at least!)

I couldn't resist looking at two of the mascots of the NHL teams set to duel once again this spring, as the playoffs begin anew... The longtime rivalry between B's and CH can so easily be turned into something far simpler that transcends the profound nonsense of it all: and I do mean a meeting of the mascots indeed! In a dark alley, behind either arena, after a hard-fought game... Let'em settle it once and for all! *LMAO* I am kidding! Still - violent mascots make for the best mascots around...! A-ha...!

The B's have their stunning mascot called "Blades" - a Bruin with an obvious attitude just the way we like'em! (Like'em... get'em... gotta get'em all...? Damn - there's that Gund crap again! *LMAO* Still - no need to sue, OK?) While the CH had to hire a leftover from a bygone era and franchise, the mercenary called, unenthusiastically enough, "Youppi" in order to finally get some sort of furry levity that embodies what a spoofy "canadien" (or, as I like to say, "moins-que-rien-canadien" *LMAO*) should look like...! It is a far easier task, actually, than its previous mission; to embody what an "Expo" was supposed to look like on a permanent bad hair day! *LMAO*
Digression #3455793020287191... I know...

Blades, in sharp contrast (get it? No, not a Gund - the pun!!!) was crafted especially for his team (like his fellow Boston natives Pat Patriot of the NFL's New England Patriots -duh- and Rhett, the Terrier that terrorizes the hearts of Boston University opponents (!) and also Wally, the Green Monster of Fenway Park - and proud Red Sox property! Ironically and also quite disturbingly enough as well, Wally and Youppi look like they were both cut off from the same cloth - even though one is green and the other is orange...! I guess there was an imitative process there, and since the Boston Red Sox are over a century-old and the Montreal Expos were a mere beep on history's radar, we know which way the duplicativeness went there, eh... But I am digressing again - my God!!!)

Blades is, thus, the real deal! An unique mascot that only fits one team, one company, one cause - that of the Boston Bruins! That is much better than being a multi-purpose, laughs-for-hire oversized orange MOP, I tell you...!!!

I couldn't resist and had to make this an official "luminous poll" if you will - over at my own luminous taste-testing blog as well! Go ahead and check it out - there are lots of pictures there (with their credits - always! Well - I try anyhow!) and don't forget to CAST YOUR VOTE - dammit! *LMAO*

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Yes, indeed - mascots are a phenomenon of modern society and a fascinating topic on any given day, and at any given time of the day too! What's more, it's a family-friendly topic, so what's not to love there, hmm?

At the very least, when kids and adults alike are laughing with them (or even at them - the bastards! *LMAO*) the mascots (and it can also apply to anthropomorphic cartoon animals) allow them to be more HUMANE, oddly and wonderfully enough; for they are leaving the REAL animals alone and in peace, in their natural habitats which are, automatically, less-polluted and not invaded, raided or dilapidated as a dreadful result either...! Dads who spend their week-ends laughing at a mascot's antics will not be taking kiddos to THE HUNT - eh? Plus: all these guys (or gals) who portray these characters have a fun job to do! And they have a job - period! So, truly, the mascot phenomenon is a win-win situation - and we never do have enough of those type of situations, now do we, in these dreadful, woeful days, hmm?


Mascots United: but not in Manchester, alas! In Montreal - ugh!
Left section of the stairway includes the cool Anaheim Duck...
Middle section's coolest pair has to be Blades and the polar bear from T.O.
While at far right there is that werewolf type hailing from... where exactly?




Hmm... I'm going back to university and making this the subject of my master's thesis, I think!

I just have to delete all the "LMAOs" - I suppose! (They were the running gag here - duh!)

:)

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