... I mean, REALLY?
Everything under the sun,
everyone and their most distant cousin;
ALL seem to have "their day" set in stone
--- i.e. on the social calendar, these days...
Haven't we gone too far now... Hmm?
For the record -and right off the bat-
the only "goths" that we will ever acknowledge
in these luminous parts here
are the Visigoths and the Ostrogoths
--- capisce?
(This in spite of what they did to ROMA!
A barbaric twist on Veni, Vedi... Vinci, eh?
Well - we forgive... but we don't forget!
Don Luciano will *never* forget...!!!
But... Hmm... that is another story.)
Modern Goths are...
just not the same thing at all.
Whereas the Ostrogoth was rough and tough
(to the point of fighting off its brother barbarians!)
the Metrogoth (my invention - adore it) is weak.
Extremely weak, actually!
Goes well with its extreme pale complexion...
No fighting spirit here - only weird tastes...
Morbid. Bizarre. With the music to match!
To (over)compensate, the Metrogoth
(so named because... well... it is an
almost exclusively metropolitan creature -
and it is often seen commuting, too!
But do I truly need to explain everything?!?)
or "Modern Goth" if you will
(but you really should not will it)
imagines itself to be mystically empowered -
it usually takes the form of a
vaguely-romanticized, atrociously eroticized
nearly ethereal yet very much in pain
(life is pain - remember? Duh.)
bloodsucking vampire.
Ugh.
Visigoths were wiser than that!!!
Brainier (which, for barbarians, is quite the feat)
and brawnier as well...!!!
They lived, pillaged, raped and died
with reckless abandon - and without thinking
for a second that they might "live forever" either!
They would have pummeled the modern Metrogoths
to several bloody pulps - time and again!
It goes doubly so for the Ostrogoths!
The Metrogoths are "goths" in name only...
Hmm...
It is, of course, absolutely on purpose that I chose to
completely ignore the Gothic origins here...
DUH!
DON'T MAKE ME GO BARBARIC ON YOU NOW!!!
We can probably blame this offshoot underground
mutation of a certain percentage of society
on The Stoker - again!
Bram and his psychedelic fantasy weaved around
the very real historical figure of Vlad Tepes
has generated countless deviations, over time...
A very short time, in fact...!
He was undeniably the stoker of a flame
- a flame that has become a blaze now
with many nascent fires coming about,
here and there - and then it all comes
from the one, the only Inferno...!
DO NOT PRETEND NOT TO CATCH MY DRIFT!!!
Damn that Stoker of Fires...!!!
As if a medieval ruler with a proclivity to impaling his foes
and several bloodthirsty barbarians running roughshod
over silly little empires that fashioned themselves eternal
--- but were clearly not, at all ---
as if such historically-accurate ruffians
were not enough to horrify the masses...
BRAM and his ilk had to imagine
much, MUCH worse --- the stuff of nightmares, truly!
And that, in turn, to the dismay of the casual observer
who watched on with horror indeed
as the revolting developments occurred, one after the other,
that sickening stuff (sickening enough to begin with!)
begat a 1001 other things that have deviated
millions upon millions from... The Light!
Because they actually prefer... the darkness!!!
Poor, sad neanderthals... far worse than a visigoth, you see?
THEY PREFER THE NIGHT!!!
They have got to be *sick in the head* as someone I know would say
in order to consciously make such an absurd choice...!
And yet - they exist, hence they have made such a horrible choice.
So many sub-cultures are, in fact, thriving,
squirming about in the night
AS WE BLOG...!
It runs the gamut from the bloodletting
wanna-be vampires out there...
... now, they may not look like it just like that,
but those are the harmless ones, in truth!
... to the borderline cross-dressers
with very strange taste in music:
All right, all right, all right...
Got a little carried away there - JUST a little!
BY DESIGN - DAMMIT!!!
... but never mind that now...
I once knew a Goth... named Hughes.
Ugh! No - not "ugh" - Hughes!
What a weirdo... I tell ya!
His favorite watering hole: the Piranha!
His favorite past-time: dressing up
like Dracula - or what he imagines Dracula was!
His favorite game to play with the girlfriend?
Hmm... Let's not get into that...!
Yet an umpteenth deviation stemming from
the original stoking of the flames there...
... NOT the kind of KINK that I was alluding to there...
...but never mind that sordid stuff anyways - either!
LET'S MOVE ON!
And what better way to wrap everything up here
than rounding up all the usual suspects
(as we simply love to do - you know it)
in an attempt to beset the plague,
extirpate by exposing the bad weed
and circumvent any further propagation...
perhaps?
Hmm... Worry not, we are not so deluded
as to think a single man -or single blog-
could possibly ever be able to...!
We can round them up, though -
that we sure can do!
Et les voici... And here they are...
(as seen on Twitter)
I am absolutely certain that the odd ones
over at the United Kingdom of Englandshire agree that
... this World Goth Day didn't fall on a Wednesday this year;
eh? Too darn bad...! It had #WCW written all over it...!
Hmm...
Aye, ultimately... it does fill my heart with sorrow.
Aye, it really does.
For the *metrogoth* is but the saddest of
night creatures ---
they put on a brave face, especially on the 22nd of May,
but deep inside their dark hearts... there is loneliness.
Anguish. Sullenness. Fear of rejection - or,
worse yet, of contempt.
They fight all those feelings off with this front
that rejects conformity and embraces oddness.
Yet all they truly want is acceptance...
It is all very... sad. Aye, it is.
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