Ever wondered why the hell they started rewarding
cheap TV without much in the way of standards of any kind
-often employing the same thespians, over and over again-
AND WHY did they ever decide to call these things
"THE GOLDEN GLOBES"
as this clearly doesn't always involve the whole damn globe
and there's no real gold to be dug up - nowhere!!!
The most prestigious award they have to give out,
truth be told, probably would be the
CAROL BURNETT (ACHIEVEMENT) AWARD
and they've given a grand total of... THREE TIMES
(including the one given away tonight: to 98 year-old
Norman Lear! Good thing they didn't wait any longer - eh?
As they could have given it to him last year: instead, they
chose to give it to ELLEN...!!! That's the video above...
The inaugural one -below- was Carol Burnett herself - duh)
Yeah, yeah - alright, alright;
they've got the CECIL B. De MILLE AWARD, too...
But what the heck is it even doing there?
It should be an AMPAS exclusive!!!
(Hasn't the Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences'
abbreviation always made you think of an IMPASSE?
It sure did make me think so...!!! But that's another story!)
Now the 2021 edition of the Globes will be vastly different
from any other edition - ever.
Even the 2020 one wasn't so... odd!
Most of it done via Skype, Zoom or whatever:
a remote ceremony where most everyone is miles apart -
including the two crazy hostesses themselves!
And as the two hostesses said it so well:
"THE STAKES COULDN'T BE LOWER"
THE STAKES... ARE NON-EXISTENT, REALLY!
WHO CARES WHO WINS???
Hasn't the pandemic taught us already
that all this glitz... pizazz... fluff...
is, like, totally and completely
a waste of time?!?
(THE ACTRESS IN A COMEDY category would
unveil quite the quirky side of nominee and eventual winner
ROSAMUND PIKE - wow, like, who knew?!?
The once upon a time GONE GIRL has got... bite!
Spunk! Venom!!! She ended up thanking
"America's BROKEN LEGAL SYSTEM
for making it possible to make stories like this!"
(Admittedly, "I Care A Lot" is a very dark comedy)
On her way there she gave nods to other nominees
(notably first-time nominee Maria Bakalova,
Borat's Bulgarian actress, for facing off with
Rudy Giuliani - like that was so scary!? Ha!
You fools haven't heard of The Pumpkin - have ya?!?)
PIKE thanked her eclectic cast, her savant director,
agent, inspirations, Netflix and... her wife Eiza!
(Although Closed Captioning translated that as "Aza")
WOW. WE NEVER EVEN KNEW SHE WAS GAY!?
Well, she is - just like Jodie Foster who also wins tonight
- for The Mauritanian! Now The Mandalorian won nothing
- but that's another story!)
that really matter - but they have to win it, in order to
get a chance to speak at all...!!!
And so many winners think only of their
little circle of collaborators - their private world of
make-believe and (very) vacuous contributions
to ever, ever, think of the greater good.
What else can you expect when you ditch these
"golden globes" down a SCHITTY CREEK - for sheer example?
No, really, HFPA... WASTE OF TIME ALL AROUND:
and it begins with the shitty hosts that you have, too...
AND THE H.F.P.A. ITSELF - OF COURSE!
All in all, its members are only 87...
EIGHTY-SEVEN!
The Hollywood Foreign Press Association
may be a non-profit organization
but then what else could it be:
it is comprised of the few, the proud, the
journalists and photographers (paparazzi!?)
lucky-enough-to-make-a-living
parasiting off the so-called "stars" there -
what do these 87 bloodsuckers know
about anything that qualifies them
to decide who wins and whose work
is truly ART...???
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